Pull My Finger Jokes

September 2015

From Wantagh, NY

Actual courtroom exchanges

  • ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his 
sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 


  • ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. 


  • ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you 
performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

From Around The Web

Just sayin’

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Lost In Translation

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: “Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux.”

Pepsi’s “Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation” translated into “Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave” in Chinese.

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I saw the Pope”(el Papa), the shirts read “I Saw the Potato” (la papa).

Have a nice day!

Monkey Man
Mr. Mail Chimp

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