Pull My Finger Again

June 2015

From Brooklyn, NY

A guy wakes up one morning with a hangover. ”Honey, I know I made a fool out of myself at the party last night, so tell me what I did.”

”You got in an argument with your boss.”

”Well, piss on him!!!” said the man.

”You did. He fired you.”

”Well, screw him!”

”I did.” said his wife. ”You’re back to work on Monday.”

From Anonymous

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime — Little Johnny always takes the nickel.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”

Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

From Lancaster, CA

Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

From Salt Lake City, UT

2015-05-28_08-43-59

 

Have a nice day!

Monkey Man
Mr. Male Chimp

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