Pull My Finger

May 2015

From Belleville, KS

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.  As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “we’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator…”

Some old men can still think fast.

From Reno, NV

Fitness Protection

From  Annonymous 

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.

As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.

Have A Nice Day!

Monkey Man
Mr. Male Chimp

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Maui Day Trips

Getting The Most Out Of Your Visit To Maui

There are a lot of great things to do on Maui and usually, not enough time to do them all. Following, in their order of importance, in my humble opinion, are some of the things that will make your Maui visit memorable.

The Road to Hana surrounded by lush greenery
The Hana Highway

The Road To Hana

Over the years, the road to Hana has developed a reputation for being treacherous. Don’t believe it! For the most part, this winding road (600 or so hairpin turns) is modern and well paved. It is also much more than just a road; it is a drive into the past and a rolling view of Hawaiian history and culture. Plan the entire day for this great trip and don’t start out too late. Mornings on Maui are breathtaking and 07:00 would be a good time to hit the road. Be sure to have a map of Maui and if possible, a guide book or pamphlet.

First stop along the road (The Hana Highway) is the town of Paia, an offbeat artsy community of shops and galleries. Now would be a good time to stock up on some beverages. If you are predisposed to motion sickness you should also buy some Dramamine or ginger. Continue reading Maui Day Trips

The Mission

One Of The Things That Make Scottsdale Such A Cool Place

The nice thing about having visitors is that you get to do things that you don’t usually do. Recently we had some family visit from the East Coast and before getting here they made a reservation at The Mission in Old Scottsdale.

Guacamole being made table side at The Mission
Quacamole being made table side

Now we have always been meaning to go here but, just never got around to it. Too bad for us! Great place. The menu is extensive and unusual. The food was very good Nuevo Mexican and the table side Quacamole outstanding.

The atmosphere in the dining room was a little dark but, the bar was big and bright. If you’re single, this looks like a good place to mingle and meet.

Dinner for two with drinks and tips $140-$150.

Tom and Nicole we will see on Maui!

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A Dog’s Prayer

I posted this poem on Facebook a while back. I like it so much that I decided to share it with those of you who might not have seen it.

       A Poem by Beth Norman Harris

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the lov­ing heart of mine.

 Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your pa­tience and under­standing will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

 Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest mu­sic, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footsteps fall upon my waiting ear.

 When it is cold and wet, please take me in­side, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bit­ter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet or on your lap or laying beside you in your bed

 Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side.

 And, beloved master, should the great Mas­ter see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest – and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

No one will give you as much aloha as your dog!

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Mama’s Fish House

One Of The Jewels Of Maui

If you live in Hawaii or have ever visited Hawaii and you haven’t heard of Mama’s Fish House then you need to get out and about a little more.

Situated just off the Hana Highway past Paia, it doesn’t look like much from the road. But once you drive down to the place you immediately know it is something special. When I was a Hana tour guide I would always take my guests down the road for a visit and if they asked, I gladly made a recommendation.

The scenery is breathtaking, especially at sunset and just walking around the grounds makes the trip worthwhile.

The menu is quite extensive and varies based on what is being taken from the sea. Not only do you know where your catch was made, you also know the name of the fisherman who caught it. But, seafood is not the only thing on the menu so, check it out.

No question about it, this is a tourist destination. But, you will also find plenty of local business people here as well, especially during lunch. Everything on the menu for both lunch and dinner is quite good and the staff is very, very knowledgeable when it comes to helping you choose.

How much does it cost? Hold your breath! Dinner for two with drinks and tips will cost between $250-$325. Is it worth it? Absolutely! And when the angels call your name it won’t matter anyway.

Adjacent to the restaurant is a nifty little inn which I will review at a later date.

Olioli and spread the aloha!

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Polipoli State Park

Off The Beaten Path

Polipoli State Park or Polipoli Spring is a really remote part of Maui that very few visitors and most kama’aina never get to see. It is 10 acres of forested wonderment situated in the 21,000 acre Kula Forest Reserve on the slopes of Haleakala.

Most of the trees are non- native and were planted in the 1930’s depression by The Civilian Conservation Corps. The extent to which they have grown and prospered is a testament to the power of nature.

Polipoli Forest
Hiking through the forest

You will be at around 6,200 feet and it is often damp and foggy but, not always. The temperature is from 10-20 degrees cooler than at sea level so, bring a jacket. The hiking is superb and the whole experience is kinda romantic. Take your significant other.

Polipoli Cabin
A cabin in the woods

There is an old ranger’s cabin available for rent in the middle of the forest. Personally, I found it a little creepy. But, that’s just me. Maybe you’ll like this hyper rustic stuff. You can contact: 808-981-8109 for more information on the cabin, camping permits and to check on     possible park closures. Continue reading Polipoli State Park

A Mother’s Poem

This little poem was given to me many years ago by a very good friend. I kept it with me in my wallet until the last. When I felt I was losing patience, I would take it out and read it to myself.


 A Mother’s Poem

When I spill some food on my nice clean dress
Or maybe forget to tie my shoe,
Please be patient and perhaps reminisce
About the many hours I spent with you.
When I taught you how to eat with care,
Plus tying laces and your numbers, too,
Dressing yourself and combing your hair,
Those were precious hours spent with you.
So when I forget what I was about to say,
Just give me a minute – or maybe two.
It probably wasn’t important anyway,
And I would much rather listen just to you.
If I tell the story one more time,
And you know the ending through and through,
Please remember your first nursery rhyme
When I rehearsed it a hundred times with you.
When my legs are tired and it’s hard to stand
Or walk the steady pace that I would like to do,
Please take me carefully by my hand,
And guide me now as I so often did for you.

Author Unknown

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Dining at Roy’s

As of this posting we have been dining at Roy’s for more than 26 years. I always wanted to write a little something about this great restaurant.

In December of 1988 Kathy (the creative force behind our business) was working for a PR firm and this new restaurant in Hawaii Kai on Oahu was a client. So, we got to attend the opening. We never looked back. Since then, we have been dining here for just about every special occasion that came along and often times just ’cause we felt like it.

As fate would have it, Roy opened a place on Maui and in Scottsdale, AZ, so we were always able to go here whenever.

Master Chef Roy Yamaguchi
Roy Ymaguchi

Roy Yamaguchi’s uncanny ability to match flavors is akin to a virtuoso composer writing a remarkable score.

A few of our favorites are the Blackened Ahi, Short Ribs, the amazing Crab Cakes, when available and of course the Chocolate Lava Cake. The Hawaiian Martini is outstanding.

Dinner for two will cost between $175 and $225 with drinks and tips and hanging out at the bar will cost about $75 for drinks and pupus.

Always a great experience!

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Pignatelli’s Eliis Island Gravy

An old family recipe, circa1896

This is the real thing.  And yes, we call it gravy not sauce.

The Statue of Liberty as seen by immigrants as the ships that brought them to America entered New York Harbor
The first glimpse of The Promised Land


2-cans of large peeled tomatoes

1-can of tomato paste

1lb-eye round

1-small slab of beef ribs (10) cracked and split

6-sweet Italian sausages

1-handful of Fresh basil

1-tsp Fresh oregano

1-tsp Salt

1-tsp Pepper

2-Tablespoons of sugar

1-Tablespoon of fresh Romano cheese

1-small onion (cut into medium thin rings and then cut the rings in half)

3-cloves of fresh garlic (chopped, but not too fine) Continue reading Pignatelli’s Eliis Island Gravy

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