Jokes

Pull My Finger Again

June 2015

From Brooklyn, NY

A guy wakes up one morning with a hangover. ”Honey, I know I made a fool out of myself at the party last night, so tell me what I did.”

”You got in an argument with your boss.”

”Well, piss on him!!!” said the man.

”You did. He fired you.”

”Well, screw him!”

”I did.” said his wife. ”You’re back to work on Monday.”

From Anonymous

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime — Little Johnny always takes the nickel.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”

Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

From Lancaster, CA

Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

From Salt Lake City, UT

2015-05-28_08-43-59

 

Have a nice day!

Monkey Man
Mr. Male Chimp

Visit us at: www.Etsy.com

Contribute a joke or funny story: [email protected]

 

 

A Little Bit of Everything

May 2015

Aloha!

This month’s blog is eclectic , to say the  least. We are covering everything from martinis to musical instruments, recipes and jokes.

Before heading over to Maui, we thought it would be fun to write on a few interesting things to do and see right here in Arizona. Namely, The Musical Instrument Museum and a sampling of the best Martinis in town. Yeah, I know, it’s a tough job but somebody’s ‘gotta do it.

In our new Pull My Finger post, we will be sharing jokes from around the web. If you have a joke or funny story to contribute, submit it to: [email protected]

In This Months Issue

We hope you enjoy our blog.

Coming in June!  Trippin’ Maui

Peace!

Visit us at: www.Etsy.com

Recipes

Italian Style Pork Cutlets

Easy and Delicious

Here is a great recipe that you can make in 30 minutes or less. I fooled around with this a few different ways and settled on the ingredients and techniques listed.

What you need

  • A large frying pan
  • 4-boneless pork chops 1-1/12″ thick (you could use 8-1/2″ bone-in chops but, they won’t make good sandwiches the next day)
  • salt and ground black pepper
  • 4-cloves of garlic
  • 1-23.5 oz jar of Prego Italian Sausage & Garlic. (O.K. I know some of you purists might gag on this. But, trust me, it works great. If you can’t bring yourself to use gravy out of a jar, use 1-can of peeled, crushed tomatoes, 1-can of tomato paste.)
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil (not extra virgin)
  • 1/4 cup of chicken broth
  • 1/4 cup of white wine
  • 1-tablespoon of dried parsley
  • 1/4 teaspoon of red pepper flakes
Pork Cutlets
Boneless Pork Chops Cut In Half

Continue reading Italian Style Pork Cutlets →

Museums

Musical Instrument Museum

1 Comment

The Tools of Music

Entrance
Guitars Only

Without a doubt,  The MIM is one of the crown jewels of Phoenix. There are so many instruments and costumes to see and experience from around the world that it is impossible to see them all in one day. We were only able to experience two of the exhibit halls on our visit. We chose the USA Gallery and the Artists Gallery.

Steinway I
A Steinway

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the best displays is of the Steinway Piano Factory. You can enjoy a wonderful video and see first hand, a breakdown  of all the major component parts of a Steinway.

Steinway II
Steinway Pianos

There was also a wonderful exhibit of the manufacturing process for Martin Guitars and an extensive exhibit of Fender musical instruments.

Martin
Martin Guitars
Fender Musical Instruments
Fender Musical Instruments

 

Johns Piano
John Lennon’s Piano

Downstairs in the Artists Gallery Hall is the piano on which John Lennon wrote the iconic song “Imagine”. Other great displays included Women in Jazz, Country artists, Hip Hop artists, Pop stars and so much more.

And, of course, there is the gift shop featuring a wide variety of music related items and jewelry from around the world.

The Cafe Allegro  serves a variety of international dishes, snacks and beverages.

If you live in Arizona or are visiting, The MIM is a must!

Hope you can see it.

Peace!

Visit us at: www.Etsy.com

Jokes

Pull My Finger

May 2015

From Belleville, KS

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.  As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “we’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator…”

Some old men can still think fast.

From Reno, NV

Fitness Protection

From  Annonymous 

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.

As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.

Have A Nice Day!

Monkey Man
Mr. Male Chimp

Visit  us at: www.Etsy.com

 

Places of Interest

Maui Day Trips

1 Comment

Getting The Most Out Of Your Visit To Maui

There are a lot of great things to do on Maui and usually, not enough time to do them all. Following, in their order of importance, in my humble opinion, are some of the things that will make your Maui visit memorable.

The Road to Hana surrounded by lush greenery
The Hana Highway

The Road To Hana

Over the years, the road to Hana has developed a reputation for being treacherous. Don’t believe it! For the most part, this winding road (600 or so hairpin turns) is modern and well paved. It is also much more than just a road; it is a drive into the past and a rolling view of Hawaiian history and culture. Plan the entire day for this great trip and don’t start out too late. Mornings on Maui are breathtaking and 07:00 would be a good time to hit the road. Be sure to have a map of Maui and if possible, a guide book or pamphlet.

First stop along the road (The Hana Highway) is the town of Paia, an offbeat artsy community of shops and galleries. Now would be a good time to stock up on some beverages. If you are predisposed to motion sickness you should also buy some Dramamine or ginger. Continue reading Maui Day Trips →

Restaurant Reviews

The Mission

One Of The Things That Make Scottsdale Such A Cool Place

The nice thing about having visitors is that you get to do things that you don’t usually do. Recently we had some family visit from the East Coast and before getting here they made a reservation at The Mission in Old Scottsdale.

Guacamole being made table side at The Mission
Quacamole being made table side

Now we have always been meaning to go here but, just never got around to it. Too bad for us! Great place. The menu is extensive and unusual. The food was very good Nuevo Mexican and the table side Quacamole outstanding.

The atmosphere in the dining room was a little dark but, the bar was big and bright. If you’re single, this looks like a good place to mingle and meet.

Dinner for two with drinks and tips $140-$150.

Tom and Nicole we will see on Maui!

Visit us at: www.Etsy.com

Poems

A Dog’s Prayer

I posted this poem on Facebook a while back. I like it so much that I decided to share it with those of you who might not have seen it.

       A Poem by Beth Norman Harris

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the lov­ing heart of mine.

 Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your pa­tience and under­standing will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

 Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s sweetest mu­sic, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footsteps fall upon my waiting ear.

 When it is cold and wet, please take me in­side, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bit­ter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet or on your lap or laying beside you in your bed

 Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side.

 And, beloved master, should the great Mas­ter see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest – and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

No one will give you as much aloha as your dog!

Visit us at: www.Etsy.com

 

 

Restaurant Reviews

Mama’s Fish House

One Of The Jewels Of Maui

If you live in Hawaii or have ever visited Hawaii and you haven’t heard of Mama’s Fish House then you need to get out and about a little more.

Situated just off the Hana Highway past Paia, it doesn’t look like much from the road. But once you drive down to the place you immediately know it is something special. When I was a Hana tour guide I would always take my guests down the road for a visit and if they asked, I gladly made a recommendation.

The scenery is breathtaking, especially at sunset and just walking around the grounds makes the trip worthwhile.

The menu is quite extensive and varies based on what is being taken from the sea. Not only do you know where your catch was made, you also know the name of the fisherman who caught it. But, seafood is not the only thing on the menu so, check it out.

No question about it, this is a tourist destination. But, you will also find plenty of local business people here as well, especially during lunch. Everything on the menu for both lunch and dinner is quite good and the staff is very, very knowledgeable when it comes to helping you choose.

How much does it cost? Hold your breath! Dinner for two with drinks and tips will cost between $250-$325. Is it worth it? Absolutely! And when the angels call your name it won’t matter anyway.

Adjacent to the restaurant is a nifty little inn which I will review at a later date.

Olioli and spread the aloha!

Viait us at:Etsy.com

Places of Interest

Polipoli State Park

Off The Beaten Path

Polipoli State Park or Polipoli Spring is a really remote part of Maui that very few visitors and most kama’aina never get to see. It is 10 acres of forested wonderment situated in the 21,000 acre Kula Forest Reserve on the slopes of Haleakala.

Most of the trees are non- native and were planted in the 1930’s depression by The Civilian Conservation Corps. The extent to which they have grown and prospered is a testament to the power of nature.

Polipoli Forest
Hiking through the forest

You will be at around 6,200 feet and it is often damp and foggy but, not always. The temperature is from 10-20 degrees cooler than at sea level so, bring a jacket. The hiking is superb and the whole experience is kinda romantic. Take your significant other.

Polipoli Cabin
A cabin in the woods

There is an old ranger’s cabin available for rent in the middle of the forest. Personally, I found it a little creepy. But, that’s just me. Maybe you’ll like this hyper rustic stuff. You can contact: 808-981-8109 for more information on the cabin, camping permits and to check on     possible park closures. Continue reading Polipoli State Park →

Hawaii inspired art, art wear, music and other stuff